Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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