"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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