I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
