It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
