She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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