Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
