just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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