i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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