I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
