but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize