Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
