Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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