Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
