Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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