I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
