my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
