we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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