Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
God gave him joint rollers for hands
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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