were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
