Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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