It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
