i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize