Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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