My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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