How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This toilet bowl is my home.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
