I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize