My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
