i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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