I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
