Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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