I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
