Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
