dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
