well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
