We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
