she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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