i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
