I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
NoShamevember. You game?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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