that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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