it was like his penis was on wheels.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
