There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
