Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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