I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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