i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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