We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You were trust falling into bushes
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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