brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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