He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
