I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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