You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Randomize
