It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it because I queefed?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
