I accidentally burped into my bong.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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