I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
