If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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