Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
