I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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